these are the sweetest smiles around

a little painting goin' on.....
if there is a fire, put it out- do not let is fester or build
these will take me places.....

Balancing...... well, still a work in progress

I am a mom, wife, cook, chauffeur, accountant, lunch packer, homework director, laundry girl, laundry folder, cleaning lady ( sort of) , 40+ hr worker, dresser, boo-boo comforter, referee, daughter, sister, friend, partner, photographer, memory keeper, artist, reader, writer, but most of all a woman trying to balance it all.........

if I wasn't for a wonderful, supportive guy in my life, I wouldn't be able to do much....yet, I am still trying to work in ME time- which is always last..... I have managed to work in some exercise during my work day, and off time... it is not enough- I need to schedule me in- but that is last thing I do when it has to do with our kids, so I tend to sacrifice my sleep in order for me to blog, write, scrapbook, read, or just relax...... so then BOOM- I am fighting bronchitis, or a cold or whatever........my health suffers. I am still focusing on my goals of 2011- live today, create and relax- but it is a motto I must repeat ( over and over and over ) in my head when I am feeling overwhelmed- what is that saying "remain calm and carry on"

My Hike Today

I realized something today- I really like hiking. I love being outside doing something physical and having an end result that can be measured. It beats being in a house or gym, on a treadmill- I just get sooo bored with that. I realized that in order to get more active and adding exercise in my day, I need to find something I really like.
I think I found it.

I also love to ride my bike- there is something fun about it, tooling around on a bike, hair blowing in the wind- I guess it reminds me of my childhood, where we rode our bikes EVERYWHERE. All day long, we road and with that came a little bit of childhood freedom.

Today was a really good hike- and the best part- it is a really good workout but it doesn't seem like exercise because it is fun!

silliness

Well- we are just being silly at home- I was getting ready to read stories to the boys before bed and J decided to "hide" under mommy and daddys bed sheets, then we played a game where I pretended I didn't know where he was, and then daddy got involved and was looking for J- then, daddy decided to go to bed and sleep on the very spot where J was hiding. The whole time, O, he was seriously looking for J, and was asking "where is he" , looking in their room, coming back to ours, and then realizing J was hiding and Daddy was laying on him. It was very funny- you should have seen the look on O's face- saying "J, you were hiding unders the covvverssss???

I know it doesn't sound so funny, but when you add in little O's comments and the way he talks it was incredibly cute!! ( I am biased though ; ) Anyhow, this is a little pic of O, he loves to get on the scale and then I say " 34 pounds ( or whatever weight he is), what a big boy you are"
We have been doing this for a long time, ever since he could stand on the scale and get that reaction!

Poinsettia

Well it is a Christmas miracle I managed to keep the poinsettia plant alive- I thought I better take a pic of it before that changes!!

I am in this 365 project where I have to take daily pic and post it. My sis invited me, and so I thought I better participate- just another way to make sure I take a daily pic here and there!

I have been purging, organizing all weekend. I am not done yet- but man, it feels good to get organized. I still have my desk to finish, paperwork and some clothing to figure out what to do with. I fell asleep on the couch today when the boys took a nap and , that felt good. I must have needed it

What a year 2010 was........

Here is some eye candy for you.......



What can I say, but I am happy to say goodbye to 2010!!
It was a tough year, it was an exciting year, and it was a crazy year. In some ways, we got what we wanted and in other ways, we sacrificed what we had.....

We are making our way here on our little journey, which has been a very long process and we are not quite where we want to be... but it is happening slowly. I am just thankful the boys are little and Rob and I can some day look back, and it will not seem so bad.

Things really fell into place once it was in motion. We started out in January 2010 excited at that time to be putting our house back on the market- this was going to be it- one last try at selling in a shitty market- but we had to do it- we felt like it was the last chance we would have in that time in our life. We knew if it didn't sell- that was it - we were VERY tired of having it be pristine, like a show piece, getting it ready for the next strangers to walk through our doors......
So we got a new realtor, I actually had a home stager come to our house - we rearranged furniture, took out some things, painted the kitchen and master bath , hung new art up, lights and tables in different places and crossed our fingers. This was our last chance.
All while both of us working full time, me with a long commute 65 miles one way, 2 preschool age children, a large home to keep pristine, and trying to live a normal life.

By the end of April we were ready again to have it be listed...... May 1st, it was listed- and miraculously, it sold that very same night!!!!! In a twist of fate, while we had been waiting for over 2 years to sell and move, the same day we listed, we had an offer, and the buyers wanted us out in 3 weeks!!!!
So there we were- scrambling to purge ( there was a neighborhood garage sale 2 weeks later that we planned on doing and thankfully we were able to sell a lot of things we did not want to move), pack, find a new place to live, since the plan was to move locally into a rental, make our way out West, and of course say goodbye to really, a very awesome house. It was bittersweet, the house was just in the wrong state ; (

Fast forward to the closing the end of May 2010- we moved to a local rental with a basement and kept most our things packed - except the "essentials" waiting for our next phase of this journey. So here we are.... renting..... knowing that we really wanted to get out to AZ before J started kindergarten. I looked into that, and found out- that yikes- Az school starts early- beginning of August. So here it is, in June 2010 and Rob speaks to his old company- who then proceed to offer him a job, he really can't say no to. The twist of this is that they want him out in AZ starting to work- by July 5th!!!!! We had just moved into a rental the end of May and now we are contemplating another move the end of June!!!! We had to do it!!! It was fate again- it was just all in fast forward mode!!!!! We were able to get out of our rental lease- they were thankfully, able to find new renters- and here were are - renting ( AGAIN) the largest truck possible to drive without a CDL license to move to AZ. We did it though-- we were on our way to Phx and it was happening......... happening really fast..... So fast, that when it was all said and done, we were moved here over the 4th of July weekend, unpacked, moved our still packed boxes into a storage unit, signed J up for school, signed up O in daycare, both Rob and I started new jobs, in a place that was oddly enough, very familiar to us, yet, very different then where we had been for the last 5 years- it was EXHAUSTING to say the least.

I really think it has taken Rob and I MONTHS to catch up mentally to what we all did these last 7 months, that now, just now, we are finally getting use to living here and getting a "new routine". ( Not to mention, I took a new job in November at a place with better hours and better benefits, yet still a change).
Why do you ask, why I am rehashing all of this???? Well....... not only is this writing cathartic for me.... there is another purpose........ This will be the end of this part of the journey for me.....
I am done talking about this, I have decided to move on...... I am moving forward and not looking back--- I will not be talking about this past year again. I am washing my hands of it- I am moving on and there is only forward thinking for me. I will not forget 2010, but I will no longer be referring to it.... I'm over it!!!
Now onto 2011- I am soooooooo looking forward to this year.
I am looking forward to walks on the beach, Pacific Beach that is, I am looking forward to getting back to my love for photography, with eagerness and excitement, hiking, getting outdoors more , getting healthier myself physically and mentally, focusing on our boys and taking them to places and giving them experiences they haven't had yet and really living in the moment and NOT in the "next step or phase mode".
There will always goals that R and I have, but this year is for living in the present day and not looking ( dwelling on the past or future). I can't wait , for tomorrow is a new day, new year!!!!!


Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!

2011

I have been thinking about 2011. It will be here before we know it. I usually try and set some goals each year (notice how I avoid the term resolutions). Some times I meet them, sometimes I do not, but I do not worry about it. I still strive for those goals.

I am going to make some real simple, broad, goals this coming year

create
be present
relax

Sounds simple enough, but believe me, these can get tricky for me. I really should just tape them up all over my place as a reminder
Another concept I am working on for myself is setting small personal goals- stop trying to get everything done in some unrealistic time frame, only to be let down when it doesn't happen..... this is huge for me I have set myself up, and then when it hasn't worked out- there is some weird guilt..... it is strange- but hey, at least, I see it : )

2010 was a very interesting, difficult, stressful, yet exciting year- is that even possible??? All these weird conflicting emotions are how I describe 2010 and my mind is still catching up with it all.
I just have to keep in mind create, be present and relax